My husband left me about a month ago and he is divorcing me. All this shortly after he got his greencard. I’ve begged, cried, and pleaded with him to stay but he refuses. Now any thought that there is a God has left me and I feel a hatred coming over me. Why if there is a God did he let this happen. I think my husband cared about me but he didn’t love me. The thoughts about converting were my own and he never once tried to get me to become or show any interest in the fact I wanted to be a Muslim. I feel like my life is over and have gone into a deep depression.
I am so sorry. It is ok to feel hatred, hurt and just plain mad at god. My husband of of 12 years left me almost 6 years ago. I never been that hurt in my entire life. I thought I was going to die and it was hard everyday to put one foot in front of the other. I was angry at god because everynight I prayed for my family and I felt like god let me down. Its been 6 years and I am remarried now with daughter from my current marriage and another on the way. I am still very hurt but I know if it would not have happen I would not have what I have now. I know it is hard to see it know, but slowly it will get better. Surrond yourself with friends and family, if you don’t have that join a support group. Talk about it as much as possible, it will help get it out. If you want to email me and talk about it feel free. I will always listen. bkhandakar@hotmail.com Its ok, if you can’t connect with god right now he understands and he is still with you even if you can’t feel it.
Salam waleykum, sister, and my heart hurts to hear of your pain.
May Allah make things easier for you, even though they seem difficult now.
Personally, I went through something similar a few years ago, and I clung to Allah all the harder when it happened. I kept reminding myself that “I am not alone, I have God.” I said it over and over again until I felt better. And, over a year later, I realize that Allah gave me gifts of freedom, independence, and strength wrapped in a painful package. And taught me a few lessons, even though it still hurts sometimes.
Perhaps if it makes you feel any better, think of the punishment that Allah will mete out to your ex. I know it’s kind of twisted, but it made me feel better when I was in my darkest. It’s really true that what goes around, comes around, whether in this life or the next. Allahu alem.
Dear sister I cannot say that I have been through that situation nor do I completely emotionally understand but I can feel the pain your going through and I just wanted to let you know that we (your sisters) are here for you every step of the way. Do not allow yourself to get depressed! He is not worth your tears! Allah (swt) knows what is best for you and let me let you in on a little secret he is not the best you can do so Allah (swt) let him go! In this time do not forget Allah (swt) continue to pray and be faithful to him for he is the all-knowing and merciful one. He can change this situation around make dua to him every second you can sister; Now in the meantime do not sit around and dwell on him let god handle him you need to take care of yourself do something nice for yourself like go to the spa (or one of those massage places in the mall we all know that we want to try it even though we deny it in front of our friends!), go shopping try on some really nice clothes, feel good about yourself I am sure you are a wonderful lady have confidence in yourself and Allah (swt) never stray from either. Jazakumallah Khair… khuda hafiz.
assalamu alaykum, i just stumbled upon your blog and was shocked by this post… im so sorry for your difficulties, it is so unfortunate, but please, dont let it sway you from the path of Allah, sis, this is a test of your faith from your creator. the same sort of thing happened to me, after converting of my own will, i was encouraged to get married, and so i did, 3 months after my conversion, only to be divorced the next month in ramadan… humdullah, i stayed close to Allah and felt that it was a big, big test, to which He eventually gave me something better for my patience. please sister, if i can do anything, or if you need to talk, or if anything, please contact me. im really sorry for your pain and difficulties, but Allah is with those who are patient… He loved the Prophets so much, ma shaa Allah, and gave them the most difficult lives to help them build their character and purify them. In shaa Allah, he loves you, and is helping you too.
Inshallah you will get over it, he is not worth it, wrap yourself around friends and family and hobbies. Be glad that Allah showed you his true colors. Take your time next time you meet someone else.
I’ve been checking back in on this blog occasionally with hopes to hear some good news, but not this
Myself being married to a GC holder, I’ve hung around online these past few years with lots of other americans married to immigrants, and have seen a number of people get scammed.
While it’s devestating now, inshaAllah it will be for the best. Obviously he wasn’t a very good example of a muslim if he would do something as dispicable as this, and he offered you no support. You deserve a better husband than that.
*hugs* and feel free to drop me an email anytime.
AsSalaamu Alaikum sister,
God tests his creation to see who is best in deed. You’re husband has done you wrong and he will have to answer for his deeds. I pray you react from this devastating event in a better manner and keep clinging to God. He will see you through this event inshaAllah, just keep the faith.It may be something better is coming your way very soon. Just don’t get impatient looking for better. Keep searching and you keep being a good person inshaAllah. You’ll be find and you have support in us internet bloggers lol. Keep God first and don’t let the actions of your husband bring you down, show out with the shine of your best qualities and good actions. You can make it inshaAllah. As long as you don’t let someone take away your confidence in yourself and in your God, you’ll be fine inshaAllah. And you’re resilent you’ll get through this inshaAllah. I’m praying for you.
AsSalaamu Alaikum
If you believed your husband scammed you just for the green card you can report this to homeland security. Not to be vengeful but as a statement of fact. It may not change his greencard status but it should block his citizenship process. LAst I check is those naturalized by marriage had to stay married three years to become a citizen.
But prayer on the mater, because vegence should never be the motive.
hugz to you my sister. Email me anytime you want an ear to listen
((HUGS)) sister I am so sorry to hear this. I am a hispanic convert and I too have seen in my community (hispanic community) people get scammed like this. I want to kick that dude in the gonads for you. I agree with lifeagift about reporting him but it is up to you and unfortunately if it was me I probably would have reported him out of vengeance. May Allah swt make your plight easier ameen.
Email me if you want.
Salaamu alaikum dear sister in Islam.
I guess its been some time now since you used this site but i hope you get this message. I pray for you that Allah brought you out of this hardship and now you see that in the end it was better for you out than in. THis brother will without a doubt be questioned by Allah and Allah is The Most Just and Most Wise.
I know it must be so hard the months after the divorce, I wounder so much what has happened to you since and i and im sure everyone who reads your blogg will be praying that Allah gives you peace and love and tranquility without the need of that brother. May Allah always protect you and guide you to that which is good for your life in this world and the next AMin.
Keep strong, dont give up, hold on my dear sister,
You are walking behind the greatest of humans , the Prophets of Allah. Allah tested them even with thier wives, so always have hope no matter how little and work hard towards you reward and Jennah
Love to you sis xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx